Why do men humiliate their wives. A question for a system-vector psychologist. why does a man insult a woman

To begin with, there are no purely ideal moments in a relationship, misunderstandings happen in every family, but the essence is in the development and consequences of quarrels. Most of the time, it's an insult. Many ladies of the fair sex asked themselves the question: why does a man insult and humiliate a woman? Let's figure out why a man insulted and humiliated.

Reasons why men humiliate women:

subconscious response. For males who insult and humiliate beautiful ladies, a defense reaction begins on the subconscious, when they begin to yell at them and pour out all the negativity; Wants to intimidate and be right about everything. He will not back down from his opinion, so he insults and humiliates the female half in order to prove his position; He has a mistress and does not have the courage to break with you; An example of childhood. The person who humiliates grew up in such an environment and saw tyrannical behavior from his father, grandfather, or the person who raised him. Even worse, if they run around him.

Step by step we delve into the essence of the issue. Why a man humiliates and insults a woman - the psychology is as follows:

A man humiliates, using it as a way to control and power. The goal is to destroy and change the personal opinion of your partner. Having become an authority for her, he believes that he can perfectly manage and manipulate her; A man humiliates and insults girls - this is the psychology of a weak, insecure man who wants to raise self-esteem and show himself; It is convenient for him. A man sees that there is no rebuff from the girl, she does not touch him, and continues to offend with 100% certainty that she is doing everything right, since the lady is silent. They can offend, humiliate, insult any woman anywhere: in transport, on vacation, at work , but why do men like to humiliate their beloved girlfriend or wife at home, let's try to find the answer. After all, it is very scary, especially since children can see everything!

Why does a man humiliate the woman he loves

The woman herself chose the role of the victim. Perhaps unconsciously, because she saw such an example of her mother's behavior. The second option is when the lady is very much in love with her prince, does not see his shortcomings, and is sure that he is right in such behavior, and she is to blame and provoked him; They are used to living and behaving like this! Both! A woman obeys in everything, cooks, washes, looks after, he gets used to it. If the other half missed what he was used to (for example, did not serve on time to eat), there will be a quarrel, and the man begins to offend. And the wife silently endures and endures; The male wants to prove his status. If this does not work out among colleagues, among friends, a man humiliates his soulmate where? At home. Although there, he feels at his best, using this method, maybe he lacks her attention; All the discontent and negativity that has gathered all day must be thrown out. And why does the male sex love to humiliate his wives, and not those who got him? Because, a woman will listen and endure and will not go anywhere (in his opinion), and in a robot, for example, they can be fired or demoted. And he is looking for any reason to hurt his wife to get rid of all the bad results of the day; Competition. The husband sees that his wife is strong in character, achieves more than him, his self-esteem drops, and he begins to humiliate her; there are obligations), and he begins to humiliate his beloved half, so that his space would not be violated; Education. Look at the parents of the boyfriend or husband. If his father is a tyrant and loves to constantly humiliate his mother, then the son’s behavior is likely to be similar, since his father brought him up like that, set an example; Behavior of his wife. If you constantly nag your spouse, express your dissatisfaction in an evil tone for any reason, his patience will also burst, and he will respond in kind.

Why does a man try to humiliate

There are many reasons, but this does not give the right to humiliate and insult. It is always necessary to find a compromise, but the outcome of the event as humiliation and violence is extremely unacceptable. We can sum up why men try to humiliate a woman: this upbringing was inherited, the weakness of men that they want to raise self-esteem, the desire to get and control the female sex in this way, the response to female tantrums and constant discontent, or the other half makes himself a victim, as well as the desire to show oneself at a height in front of another person.


Most often, these are the aggressors who believe that they are always right. The girl, in order not to become a victim, must fight back. Any conflict situation must be adequate and not go beyond what is permitted, especially to the point of violence. You need to control yourself, work on relationships on both sides. And to realize your mistakes is already the first stage of mutual understanding.

Women throughout history have fought for their rights. They always proved something to someone, asserted themselves, declared themselves, spoke out about the infringement of their rights. And here it is necessary to put an end. Stop, why someone? They proved it to men - to those who infringed on these rights. Yes, time has passed, now men and women are completely equalized, the latter are not limited in their rights in any way. But still, men often try to offend the weaker sex, touching primarily on gender. “Who should wash the dishes? I? Yes, I’m a man!”, “Take off these sneakers, you’re a woman!”. And also this, the most terrible: “Well, you are a BABA.” What is this? Why do men humiliate women? Let's try to figure it out in this article.


Family

Psychologists say that children always repeat the fate of their parents. And all why? From the point of view of this science, such a phenomenon is explained quite simply. Even the father of psychoanalysis, Sigmund Freud, said that all problems come from childhood, because a child, being a being who cannot separate what is necessary for himself from what is unnecessary, accepts what he sees. Who does he see the most? Of course, parents. Especially for the little man, they are the only authority. Therefore, no matter what actions they perform, the child on a subconscious level will consider them the only true ones, and when a similar situation occurs in adult life, at the level of understanding of the world, a person will act in the same way as his parents once did in it. This also applies to family relationships. "Why do men humiliate women?" - many people ask. Perhaps their fathers treated their wives badly.


Example 1

The boy Petya constantly heard his father insult his mother when she did something wrong. I didn’t have time to cook borscht before the arrival of my husband - a lazy person, stayed at work - unfaithful, bought myself a new dress - an egoist, and so on. Peter grew up, got married, got a job, where he was engaged in conducting sociological research. At the last meeting, he was given the task of preparing a study "Why men humiliate women." He decided to become the first test subject and wrote on the form: “I think that humiliating a woman is terrible, but if she does stupid things or strange things, I don’t think it’s bad to offend her.” Thus, we can conclude that insults for Peter are a completely normal and natural thing, precisely because his entire childhood is built on this. He does not even consider this act humiliating. This is normal, part of life.


Low self-esteem

In order to better understand, it is worth delving into history. Who were the first rulers? Were there women among them? Rurik, Oleg, Igor. Next Olga. Her rule was completely accidental, strange, unjustified, having the only goal - retribution. It is worth noting that after Olga to state power managed to get Elena Glinskaya, but again after 6 centuries and only in the person of the regent under Ivan the Fourth. Then palace coups, again, only accidents. The rest of the time, only men ruled the state. And veche? Remember, only representatives of the stronger sex could be present there. This natural desire of men to be always ahead, to be the main one is transmitted to them by blood. Therefore, when men realize that they did not take something from life, missed something, did not achieve something, their self-esteem immediately falls. But you can’t just take it and admit it, you need to try to prove it to those who are less weak (in this case they are women) the opposite. And how to do it? Of course, try to show your superiority by humiliating and insulting a woman. After all, not all male representatives know how to feel this line. This criterion should answer the question of why men humiliate women.


Example 2

Married couple. The husband always earned more than his wife and provided for the whole family, but suddenly the unexpected happened - he lost his job. The wife was not at a loss, remembered that she was good at baking cakes, took out a loan and opened her own business. In just six months, her business went uphill, a client base appeared, the loan was repaid, but her husband was dissatisfied. Why? It would seem that there is everything, live and rejoice. But no, he writes to her website negative feedback, orders cakes that she does not pay for, scolds her for spending a lot of time at work, not realizing that her wife is the only one who earns money in the family. You can understand a man, he just cannot admit at a psychological level that his wife is ahead of him. But in this case, when it simply could not have happened otherwise, why does a man humiliate a woman? Psychology of consciousness of any person. The answer is simple.


Fear

As the saying goes, big love can also give rise to certain troubles. And not always Lady Platonic can bring only happiness. But rather, this criterion can be attributed to jealous men. Why does a man humiliate and insult a woman? It is possible that he loves her very much and is afraid of losing her. We all know how susceptible human nature to the evaluation of other people. Therefore, when a man periodically tells his beloved that she is fat, ugly, worthless, she begins to believe in it and consider herself such, no matter how beautiful she is. Indeed, women whose men humiliated them in this way almost never left them. Therefore, this point of view is quite justified.

Example 3

In psychology, this example refers to Theory public consciousness. American psychologists conducted an interesting experiment, during which each person in the hall saw the same monitor screen (there were 50 people). The screen was black. Forty-nine people out of fifty said the screen was black but asked them to say otherwise in the audience. So, when all 49 people said that the screen was white, the latter did not doubt it for a second, although he observed the opposite with his own eyes. This example can easily be transferred to gender psychology and understand why a man humiliates and insults a woman (psychology).

Woman's behavior

Very often, women themselves become the culprits of such behavior of men. After all, one and the other representatives of the sexes can be different. For example, girls may begin to unjustifiably insult their other half, constantly suspect of cheating, checking social media, asking friends and mutual acquaintances, resorting to persecution. No man will like it. And not just for men, but for everyone. After all, despite the relationship, there should always be some kind of personal space that cannot be violated. It turns out that in this case, the ladies themselves run into conflicts and abuse, and then they also wonder why men are trying to humiliate a woman. And how not to answer the same? Indeed, in almost all areas Golden Rule morality, which says that the attitude towards others should be the same as what is desired towards oneself. And it does not lose its importance in communication and in relation to your young man.

Conclusion

I would like to note that many people are wondering why a man is trying to humiliate a woman, but have all those who have ever asked him thought to find the reason in himself? Seems like units. Yes, it happens that men just insult their women, but the latter are not always "God's dandelions." The main thing is to look for the optimal balance and build relationships on full understanding, trust and dialogue, when you can always discuss something together, and if something does not suit you, find a common solution. Perhaps then this article will be needed by fewer girls.

Beauty and HealthLove and Relationships

How many articles are devoted to real representatives of the stronger sex, but besides them, there are those who, although they belong to the male sex, do not behave like men. They allow themselves to be rude, insult and offend women. There is no excuse for this, since they are stronger, but you can only fight this phenomenon by understanding what is the reason that makes them behave so low. So why do men humiliate women? Now let's figure it out.


Why do men insult women

The reasons for any actions and deeds are always hidden in the depths of a person’s subconscious, and often he is not aware of them until a moment comes that forces him to think why life is not the way he would like, and people around react negatively to him. At this moment, there is a chance to change in better side. Unfortunately, to recognize the very fact that a person is doing something wrong is a great success. Subconscious processes are well hidden from people, and the eternal rush, which does not allow you to stop for a minute to think about whether you are going the right way, generally deprives you of any chance to learn something very important about yourself.

Understanding and realizing the hidden motives of behavior and actions can be done with the help of introspection, psychologists or other people who are able to say from the outside in a calm manner that a person behaves selfishly and hurts others. The only problem is that such people, especially males, do not want to hear what they are told, and even more so go to a psychologist (they are not sick) or engage in introspection (wasting time on incomprehensible nonsense), they are deeply convinced that they are doing everything right, and it is those whom they offend, react incorrectly, or are themselves to blame.

To change the situation, forcing them to think at least for a minute about their behavior, is possible only in peaceful ways. In moments of calm, just voice that you, as his beloved woman, are hurt by his words and actions. It is important to say all this calmly, choosing words that accurately reflect your feelings and hint to him. possible cause his behavior, so that he understands what is worth paying attention to in order to make sure that you are right or his own. Here, as they say, how it will turn out.

Attempts to convey your disappointment to him with the help of screams, in a state of rage, when you want to tear and throw out of resentment and pain, will be in vain. When people are yelled at, whether justifiably or not, they turn on a defense mechanism, or they stop perceiving what they are being told at all, as they subconsciously understand that negative things will be poured on them that will cause harm, or they will enter into a skirmish to silence the other and intimidate, because they become scared at this moment themselves.

All these processes are subconscious, therefore they are not realized by people, they occur instantly, but knowing about them in advance, there is a chance to avoid new quarrels, because they will definitely not be able to solve the problem. But to tell everything calm environment when the right moment comes, hinting at what is happening to the person himself, because it’s not easy for him to behave this way, you need to know what reasons most often make men humiliate women, what provoked them and how to deal with them.

Psychologists agree that only weak men, unsure of themselves, unloved in childhood, accustomed to such a model of behavior, this is how their father behaved or the men who replaced him in childhood if the boy grew up alone. People who love themselves know how to feel someone else's pain, even if they strong men accustomed not to express their emotions and pity too often. They have no need to raise their own self-esteem at the expense of others. If suddenly they have slightly decreased, but there is love for themselves, they will find another way to increase it, without offending anyone, especially women. Insulting and humiliating another person, you, first of all, lower yourself. Worthy, self-respecting people will never allow themselves such behavior.

To offend and humiliate... This way of solving internal problems is chosen by weak representatives of the stronger sex, who are even too lazy to think about the problems that await them if they continue to behave like tyrants further. For some reason, living in a society where such an attitude towards the obviously weak is not encouraged, but, on the contrary, is condemned, sometimes quietly, but condemnation is always present, such men do not bother to think about why they allow themselves such behavior and really whether they are sure that this will continue forever and does not threaten them with anything.

They may believe that they are not doing anything wrong, only because they are afraid to admit that they are after all bad people, they are too lazy to take care of themselves, because this is also a kind of recognition of their shortcomings. This behavior is cultivated for a reason, it is based on the fact that women who are humiliated by such men are used to behaving like victims. They do not accept their behavior so as not to worry about him, and do not give them a rebuff, either verbal or forceful, at least in the form of parting with them and deleting them from their lives.

The unwillingness to voice justified claims and grievances that arose because of his behavior in a calm environment is due to the fact that then he will have to make a decision: stay and not pay more attention, since she loves him so much, or leave. And it’s scary to do this, because the status of the victim gives her a lot of advantages, especially since her mother also behaved, and such a model of behavior is absolutely familiar. Who wants to admit that she is also to blame for the fact that she is constantly offended, and she continues to endure it, without even trying to think, maybe something is wrong with her too.

This behavior of women allows men to humiliate them further, as they feel their impunity.


Why do men humiliate women

But only women are not always to blame, after all, they don’t specifically provoke such behavior towards themselves, and only then they react as best they can, leave or suffer from too much patience and fear of losing even such a bad, but still a man . Unfortunately, our society still continues to evaluate the value of a woman by the presence of a man next to her or his absence. It is worth mentioning that a normal man will never humiliate a woman, no matter how she behaves and no matter how tolerant and kind to others. Those who behave rudely are those who themselves inside feel their own inferiority, which they are trying to get rid of by humiliating those who are obviously weaker than them. Without meeting a rebuff, they generally cease to see the boundaries and continue to violate them more and more subtly. Men allow themselves to behave this way because their status is not as high as they would like. And they are trying to rise in order to feel on top at least against someone else's background. And since it is much easier for them to show strength and rudeness towards someone who depends on them, especially since it is easier than trying to achieve the status they need, they are trying their best. They are afraid to fight difficulties, compete and compete with other members of the stronger sex, because they are not sure of themselves and their success, but since ambitions are generally huge against this background, they need to throw out the accumulated dissatisfaction with themselves and others. And a woman looking at him with loving eyes and expressing complete submission ... What could be better for his anger?! No one will rebuff him, will not object, will not say that it is time for you, dear, to take care of your own self-esteem, so as not to remain lonely, as any women will run away from you, tired of enduring humiliation. So they humiliate women when their subconscious discontent begins to corrode the soul, and this happens often, the disease is - low self-esteem- remains untreated. Because of her, some feel the fear of losing their beloved, and so that this does not happen, instead of getting rid of fear, which is done again by increasing their own self-esteem and self-love, they begin to humiliate, offend and criticize the woman. In other words, destroy her self-esteem to such an extent that she herself believes that no one else will need such a wrong one. It just happens all the time, because his fear does not disappear anywhere, and he continues to try with all his might, turning a woman into a downtrodden and insecure creature, completely dependent on him.

Photo: why men humiliate and insult women

Those who respect themselves and do not want to tolerate such an attitude should remember that there is no excuse for men to allow themselves to humiliate and insult women. They do this because of their promiscuity and unwillingness to respect others, no matter how much they are asked not to do this, and no matter how society tries to raise worthy men.

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Can psychology explain this? Tired of fighting alone. I am already over 40. The first marriage broke up. Divorce, betrayal of my husband, I experienced very hard. But finally the pain went away. I met beautiful person, fell in love. We moved in. Everything was wonderful, he cared, looked after, was very gentle. But it didn't last long. After a short time, he began to allow himself insults addressed to me. Outbursts of anger are becoming more frequent. First he calls me names last words, and then repents, gives flowers, asks for forgiveness. Why is this happening, I don’t understand ... Why does a man insult a woman?

Most big question here, as, in fact, in many other cases - how to understand what drives another person? You yourself write that the scenario repeats itself. It means that you somehow step on the same rake again and again.

System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan explains this by the fact that we have a certain vector set, certain states that entail a certain life scenario. Most often these are unconscious processes for us, but there is a way to get to know them better, to learn how to manage them.


Why does a man insult a woman? This behavior speaks of his resentment against society, against a particular woman. And there is nothing surprising in the fact that aggressive behavior combined with care. These two poles are properties of one type of psyche, the anal vector. In a normal state, this is a really caring man, ready to carry his woman in his arms. But when the negative from the resentment sitting in him reaches a certain limit, he splashes it out in the form of insults on the same woman whom he gave flowers to yesterday. Then comes guilt, apology, and a period of calm before another storm.

Why does a man insult a woman. Psychology explains and helps

Having studied the vector of a person, you learn to understand the causes of insults, the moment of awareness of your own behavior is very important. Obeying the properties of her vectors, the woman quickly took a liking to the new man, and then chose the path of silent patience.

In order for the situation to change, a woman needs to realize the scenario in which her relationship develops, to understand her internal states. This contributes to the fact that they change, improve, and only then is the solution to existing problems.

For a man who insults a woman, understanding is extremely important. He appreciates it in a relationship the most. And a systematic understanding of the situation brings clarity to the relationship as much as possible. It can change what already seems irreparable.

To understand the peculiarities of the psyche and behavior does not mean to put up with them and continue to endure. On the contrary, looking at life differently, you can either give a worthy rebuff, or gradually correct the situation thanks to a heart-to-heart dialogue and vector features.

The article was written using materials

Behind the most important day of every woman - her wedding day. A significant dress weighs in the closet, the photographs are printed, and there is something to remember. Here it begins.

Seems like a happy ending long relationship, but why does the husband begin to change in the other direction? After all, before marriage, everything was different. Why does the husband undeservedly begin to insult and humiliate? First, try to figure out why the husband suddenly changed.

The main reasons that a man begins to behave in this way

1. He feels like you are invading his personal space. In addition to your common household chores, he has his own friends and activities. Attempts to train him and forbid him to spend time outside your nest may result in inadequate reactions.

2. You got married too early or got married "on the fly." Often such marriages are short-lived, and after a while the spouses begin to blame each other for depriving them of their freedom. Hence the insults.

3. Education. Oddly enough, this is the reason. In our subconscious, everything is laid back in childhood. And if his father humiliated his mother, then he will repeat this with his women.

4. Behavior of the wife. If she herself often accuses him of all the “sins of mortals”, humiliates and insults him, then after taking a sip of a little alcohol, the man becomes bolder and expresses everything in response to her.

Husband humiliates and insults, what to do?

To begin with, try to sit quietly over a cup of tea and talk without arguing or reproaches. If the husband does not want to, then respect yourself and do not continue this conversation. If everything is fine, then carefully ask real reasons insults. It could also be that he was just jealous. So don't drag out a frank conversation.

After talking with your husband, draw conclusions for yourself. When you forbid something to him, no matter how strange it seems, but he conquers his territory with aggression. And the family needs personal space. You also want to sometimes meet with friends or go to a beauty salon. Try to learn to control yourself in any situation when you want to scream or forbid him to go somewhere.

There are times when a husband can offend for no reason. If he constantly behaves like this and does not try to do anything, then think about whether you need such a relationship? What is the point of constantly looking for reasons in yourself and looking for an approach to it? Don't put up with it, respect yourself.