The women's site site knows what an awkward and unpleasant situation this is: you came to a romantic meeting, and the guy is silent on a date ... What to do, is it possible to talk to him and is it even worth striving to continue the relationship with this person? Understanding!

Why is the guy silent when meeting?

Oh, how we girls love to come up with beautiful excuses for such silent people! But let's look at such a "mystery man" without rose-colored glasses at least once: why is the guy silent when meeting?

• He is like this. Most often, a man does not have any super-serious reasons to remain silent, and it should simply be concluded that this is his typical behavior. He behaves this way not out of touching youthful shyness in front of a lady, but for a banal reason - he does not know what to talk about, does not know how to come up with topics for conversations, joke and talk about nonsense. As a rule, successful and socialized people have skills, even if communication does not bring much pleasure. And if a person is silent, although he should have understood that he needed to talk about something, then he is probably slightly (or not slightly) antisocial, does not feel the awkwardness of the situation or does not know how to get out of it with the help of sweet chatter. Maybe he is stupid, maybe not - but in any case, silence for a long time suggests that this is normal for this person behavior.
• He is not interested in your reaction, he is just too lazy to make any effort to make the lady interested. Yes and further development He doesn't seem to need a relationship.
• He wants to create for himself the image of a mysterious and impregnable alpha male, around which the young ladies themselves must run and come up with entertainment. You don’t have to talk about the level of intelligence of such a character - you yourself can guess what a close-minded gentleman comes up with such a strange and unambiguously losing strategy of behavior

That's all the objective reasons for playing silent. And if a person is not stupid, is interested in a girl and is able to communicate adequately, then he will explain the reason why he cannot or does not want to talk much: for example, he will apologize for a sore throat or a bad mood.

The guy is silent on the first date: how to behave to a girl?

You came to a rendezvous with a new acquaintance, and the man is silent for. “Beautiful and Successful” knows exactly what not to do:

• Do not become a “clown” - you don’t need to constantly initiate a conversation yourself, try to find a topic that is interesting for a guy, sparklingly joke and generally turn a strange date into a monologue from your beloved. You can talk as much as you really want to. You can take the initiative, put forward the topic of conversation once or twice, but if the interlocutor does not pick up this "lifeline" - leave him to "drown" in his own silence!
• Do not support the "conspiracy of silence" if by nature you are a lover of chatting and it is uncomfortable for you to be silent. The gentleman does not want to be a participant in the dialogue - let him be a silent listener, nothing bad will happen to him from this!
• Do not invent unsubstantiated excuses why he is silent: do not attribute to him any aristocratic depressions and noble fatigues. And even if he himself tries to justify himself with something like that, be vigilant and divide all his “truth about himself” into two!

What to do if the guy was silent the whole date? Be natural and simple - do not try to carefully mask the emotions that his silence causes in you.

Are you bored? So say: “To be honest, it’s boring for me to be silent, let’s talk about something - come up with a topic?”. You can simply ask: “Why are you silent - are you always so silent?”. This is by no means tactless, because to invite a lady to a meeting and be silent, making her bored and nervous is tactlessness on the part of a man.

If you get bored, you can quite sincerely say that you would like to end the meeting - these are his problems that he failed to interest the girl in a longer rendezvous. Do not invent any urgent matters and sudden fatigue, do not promise to "work out", inventing a reason for new meeting- just say that you would like to say goodbye now. Let him understand that he "failed" the date - and you do not have to waste your time and emotional efforts on unfamiliar men.

What to do if a man is often silent on a date?

If the “silence of the lambs” is observed not once, but literally every time, this definitely means exactly what he is like. Are you satisfied with such a silent man? Maybe you yourself do not like unnecessary conversations and really feel understanding without words? If yes - well, meet and be silent further!

If not, if “rendezvous without words” weighs on you, then the sooner you part, the less traumatic this gap will become for both.

Let's consider a typical situation. Your man suddenly does not appear - in any form - for a while. Against the backdrop of complete health in your relationship. He does not write, does not call, as if he has fallen through the ground. I know some women who remain calm in this situation, there are two of them - these women. In the rest, regardless of age, Baby wakes up - collective image a girl who tends to ask pleadingly, bringing her eyes full of tears to your face and grabbing you by the button: “Tell me, why do you think HE IS SILENT? HE BROKE-UP WITH ME? AND WHAT TO DO?

This question was answered by one young man who had a counter question - why do women panic in these cases? He sincerely did not understand this. And this misunderstanding, as I understand it, is characteristic of them in general.

I will cite, with his permission, our correspondence in ICQ:

He: why can't women just sit down, turn off their brains and wait quietly and peacefully in silence, and not try to think for a man?

I: there is no button. On the brain.

He: Well, to jam with emergency methods chtol always?

I: SMS is enough) and then you tell me. what does a man think. disappearing from the sight of a woman? does he think everything is ok?

He: in general, yes. If he behaves normally, disappearing from this very field, if he said goodbye normally, if nothing portends trouble, and indeed a lot more if, then yes. If everything is fine with you, and you are sure that everything should be fine with her, why worry?

I: women are like waves like water. They feel inconsistently. They feel insecure if you are gone for a long time and there is no news. You never know what can happen at this time within you? suddenly you decided to stop loving us? suddenly you don’t feel anything anymore, or are you carried away by someone? suddenly you forgot us? it is very difficult to wait in the unknown. For a woman, the unknown is the lack of reinforcement of intentions. What about you?

He: we are just sure that if something happens inside you while you do not see us, then either we will be able to disentangle it all .... or the confidence comes that it would have happened anyway, sooner or later ... But I don’t understand, for example, why women panic ahead of time and prepare themselves for a quarrel in advance ... why quarrel with a person about something that has not yet happened and was not going to happen , reproaching him for the fact that he himself must understand everything ...

I: Women have a lot going on inside. men are outside. While there is no news from you, she lives a whole story with a bad ending. A woman herself would never do this - for example, she would not become silent, she has it by nature. She should be worried about how her loved ones feel - otherwise she simply won’t raise children, this is an instinct. We really do not understand why you do not understand that we cannot be left alone for a long time. I mean, no attention. In general, for a woman this is not so. She is always waiting. She needs at least one confirmation during this time that everything is in order with his attitude towards her.

He: This is selfishness... That's how funny it would not sound, but sometimes it seems to me that we think about you more than you about us .... A man tries to understand a woman, tries to analyze the situation from two sides at once, but he does not always succeed because of female variability. You can give us a discount, knowing that we think differently!

In short, girls. They do not understand. Who is more flexible, he will learn the rules of the game. A man who is very busy at work and generally very busy - and above is just such a case - will not just write SMS or call, his head is full of others. He can be taught to send emoticons, I even know one such man. who, by the age of 40 and his third marriage, has finally learned this: once a day he consistently sends SMS-ku - how are you? And his woman invariably responds with a little bit of chirping, and her mood, no doubt, improves. Usually, men do business for some time or something else, immersed in it with their heads, and when they later, having come to their senses, call, they hear with bewilderment a voice distorted from rage or tears - you completely forgot me !! Well, some girls still write SMS themselves, trying to extract a man from his classes, and some emotions from a man, but the man is weakly extracted, and the answers come strange, and calls, sometimes, are dropped. They sometimes have meetings there, some kind of business, and since the thinking is single-channel, and not multi-channel, as we have, then at the meeting they think about business, yes. Strange as it may seem.

For me and my female acquaintances, in most cases, men were always busy, very busy. And then one of my brilliant girlfriend once uttered the following phrase: “What do you want from him from him? Do you want him to quit his job, build a fucking hut, and from there call on you every now and then?” I imagined this picture and almost died laughing.

So on "Why" we kind of answered. He is silent, because there is nothing to say about the current situation, he has brokers or contractors there, or contractors eat away his brain. Your text message “Sunny, how are you?” he will see, but he will not understand, he will look with wild eyes and answer only in the evening, vaguely feeling guilty.

But on "What to do" one brilliantly answered a little boy five years. He concentrated on assembling a city from cubes, and his mother, having entered the room, stopped and began to silently observe. The boy looked up and said: "Mom, you go ... Do something."

Really, come on, let's do something.

On the topic male silence accounts for probably a quarter of the issues related to men. Even more often, of course, no one asks anyone any questions, but simply “relevant” conclusions are made, which can then fall upon an unsuspecting man.

For example, a woman writes an SMS message to a man: "Beloved, you are the most the best man in the world. With you it is safe and ... ". The man at this time is very busy at work, thinks that it is better to answer than to remain silent and answers “Spsb”. (Abridged thank you. The man's excuses are given from the words.)

When my relatives discussed this situation with me, I was amazed at the unanimity of their reactions to the behavior of a man. “Oh, what a bad person this man is, and women would give him a “Spsb”. What an egoist. Answered, just to get rid of. Then the woman who was sent the SMS told how she spoke to her man about his “Spsb” for a couple of hours. My relatives unanimously supported her, and some even had the opinion that they did not suit her well.

When I listened to this story from life, I sincerely could not understand that they were angry with this man? After all, he was actually very busy at work, he had a meeting with a client at that moment. This was not even denied by the woman who received the Spsb. In addition, that man, in her words, does not really even know how to type SMS, unlike most of today's youth.

My intercession only angered the women even more. In their unanimous opinion, you can always find time for your beloved woman. And even if there is no time at all, then it’s better to remain silent, and write an SMS later, (or call) when you are free. But to write not such a “just to get rid of”, but normal, as it relies on the manifestations of a woman’s feelings.

According to the man, he tried and did the best. Even at the time when the client was distracted for a few seconds from the conversation and began to look through the papers, he found 30 seconds and thanked his beloved. And the message is abbreviated, because there was not enough time, and he also does not know how to type SMS on his phone.

Here is an example of the difference in the perception of silence or monosyllabic phrases between men and women. What women consider a real insult, men perceive it as completely normal.

It is necessary to somehow smooth out these features of perception and thinking of men and women. Otherwise, you can quarrel every day, and then divorce a man who adores his woman and was not even going to offend her in his thoughts.

After all, quarrels about the silence of men, their monosyllabic phrases or “perfectly reasonable” conclusions that a woman makes during this silence are among the most frequent in relationships.

What will we do about the silence of men? Why is the man silent?

Firstly, try not to draw far-reaching conclusions for men, as you would do for a woman. If a woman is “tensely” silent, then this is most likely bad. Perhaps she was offended or she has some plans. Most likely, this is true.

If a man is silent or gets off with monosyllabic phrases, then this means absolutely nothing. During silence, a man can think about his plans, just relax. Even during a quarrel, he may simply listen to what you say to him, and then silently consider your complaints and how to improve the situation.

I understand that it is not very easy. After all, neither men nor women consciously think about their “conclusions”. They arise by themselves, out of habit. Try it though. It turns out that in 80% of cases a man was not going to offend you, insult you and something else. It's just that he is such a tunduk.

Secondly, teach your man to speak more so that you understand him. This is a very affordable task.

Of course, your man is unlikely to learn how to talk like your girlfriends, but you can still make noticeable progress. You just need to gradually explain to the man what you need. Maybe even sometimes show. Gradually, week after week, month after month, a man can learn a lot.

What does a woman usually want from a man? I will write on the basis of my observations of my wife, as well as the claims that my relatives, wife's friends, etc. made against their men. I already wrote about this in an article on the site "Solar Hands" "Women love with their ears", but given that it is not even from this section, then the repetition will obviously not be superfluous.

In total, women want men to communicate in the following way.

• He spoke about himself and others in much more detail than he was used to. (Of course, we are talking about what interests a woman, and not about technical details). Not just: “How did you go somewhere”? - "Fine". Explain to the man that this is not enough for you and you do not like it when you need to pull everything out of him. Let him learn to express himself in more detail and detail.
  For example: “I arrived there, and someone came out to meet me. He was very happy because he said something. I went into the apartment, and there is a new one ... etc. ”

If you constantly ask a man to talk like this, then sooner or later he will learn to speak in detail and with details.

I talked about what an ordinary woman wants from an ordinary man. Of course, you can add or remove something. And, of course, do not try to master all the rules at once. This is unlikely to succeed, even if a man really wants it. Take one thing that is most important to you or what seems to you the easiest to learn and try for a few weeks to bring the behavior of a man in conversations at least to a satisfactory level.

Third, if a man is silent, then he really could be offended or angry.

Although this happens much less often than women usually think, it happens nonetheless.

But if he was offended, then why is he silent? This usually happens because during your domestic quarrels, in the end, it is always the woman who is right. (Maybe it was before you, doesn't matter). Whatever the situation, no matter what anyone does, the woman always turns out to be right, not the man. This happens because a man does not know how to argue with a woman and is generally weaker in family relationships. This is a fairly common situation. At the same time, a man can be successful in the outside world, cunning, impudent and resourceful (not necessarily), but at home he always loses in disputes.

And at some point, a man gets tired of “losing” in disputes with a woman all the time and he has defensive reaction silence. This is understandable, why say something if in the end it turns out to be wrong anyway.

How to fix this situation? Here I will quote, I don’t remember whose, the statement: “Whoever wins at cards all the time will soon be left without partners in the game.”

I liked how my wife corrected a similar situation in our family.

A woman just needs to periodically “lose” in family disputes. That is, sometimes say: “I was wrong”, “Yes, you are right”, “I'm sorry”, or something else. Like I said, technically it's easy. However, in practice this requires some spiritual growth, as it is necessary to give up the “pleasure” of being right all the time. If you can, then very soon the “silent person” can “disappear” and you will have a completely talkative man.

I hope my reflections will help you at least partially better understand men. And where there is a better understanding, there is simplicity and pleasure from communicating with them.

Sincerely, Rashid Kirranov.

If your man is silent, you are confused and restless about this, find out what it would mean and how to live with it. Nature has created men and women different and not only in appearance. We are completely different in the way we think. What is acceptable for men and is natural for them, unfortunately, often does not lend itself to any justification in women. We see the emerging problems, and accordingly, we solve them in different ways.

How does a woman perceive a man's silence

1. Women are characterized by an overabundance of emotions, which to a greater extent overcome common sense and logic. They pay a lot of attention to the emotional side of the problem, as it is perceived. And they take few concrete steps to resolve it.

2. Many women are perplexed by the fact that men are taciturn at home, withdraw into themselves and are silent. long time. They begin to think that they are indifferent to them. Such an approach to the issue can undermine its authority and threatens with conflicts.

3. To avoid such a situation, you need to understand that the attitude of a man towards you and his character are two different sides. If he is silent, it does not mean that he is ignoring you. The silence of a man is not exactly a problem. The reason is either in you or in his nature. And yet, if your man is a silent man, how to live with him further and how should you behave?

Why men are taciturn

The following are the most common reasons for male silence or reticence:

• Sometimes a man withdraws into himself and is silent, if he has serious circumstances and problems, he thinks about them.

• He is very tired and feels exhausted at work.

• There is a bad mood, not necessarily associated with you. Men rarely complain, so they are silent.

• If he feels that a woman does not understand and does not support him, he tries to blame him or impose his opinion as more correct.

• When he sees that his information does not arouse the expected interest.

• Silence is a character trait. Basically, these people are introverted, self-sufficient or shy. They like to write down the course of their thoughts more than to say them out loud.

• Closedness as a result of neglect by parents in childhood of his interests and needs. Man in adult life does not know what exactly he wants, is not sure of himself.

• Men, unlike women, are not willing to discuss their inner experiences. And if they decide to do this, then they cannot, as women, in terms of language skills, convey what is inside them.

What to do if your husband is silent?

If you value your relationship and love it, you need to accept the other person for who he is, and not try to change him to no avail. Loving, of course, you will intuitively find those buttons that will make a man open up and talk about what worries him. Take note of the tips below and try to build a verbal connection with him.

1. In order to avoid conflicts, one must understand one important detail- men physiologically cannot do two things at once - think about their problems and communicate with you. Knowing this feature, it will be easier for you to understand the reason for his silence.

Be prepared for the fact that while the man is busy, you will not hear a word from him.

2. Do not meddle with him with questions, this will further aggravate the situation and cause irritation. In no case be aggressive and do not start a scandal about ignoring. It is impossible to force him to speak, since this desire should arise by itself, and by using violence you will achieve the opposite result. Have at least patience, if not wisdom.

Masculine qualities of character - this is for you, my dear women, not a pound of raisins. Women are traditionally considered unpredictable. However, this is not a completely fair opinion. Whole treatises can be written about the unpredictability of our men. Take, for example, family woman. Where does she go after work? That's right, home. She has unfed children there, her husband is about to appear hungry, everyone needs to be appeased, put to bed and prepare everything for tomorrow. Where will you take it after work? married man, God knows. And there are many examples of such. Go. Guess what is on the mind of the faithful today and how to understand his mood swings. And if a man is offended, then you don’t even know how to behave. Let's talk about male grievances in more detail.

Male character traits when offended

So, we uttered barbs to our missus or did something wrong, he closed himself up and walks frowning for the third day. In a word, the man was offended, silent and ignoring all our attempts to make peace. A couple more days go by and the situation is still the same. This, of course, begins to oppress us extremely. All sorts of bad thoughts come into my head, and my mood falls uncontrollably to zero. What to do, because he is already cold, like an iceberg, to some of our questions he only grumbles something angrily in response and disappears somewhere in the evenings. Horror! Oh, what will happen, and why did we do it! Everything ... This is a divorce, divorce, divorce !!!

Stop stop! We calm down. There is no talk of divorce yet. Let's figure out what is really happening. The male character is not female. And representatives of the strong half of humanity behave, offended by something, not at all like the representatives of the weaker sex. We can roar, complain to girlfriends or mother, while men, when they feel bad, go into themselves. They become withdrawn, sullen and concentrated. And they can stay in this state for quite a long time. We, having discharged ourselves, calm down, forgive the insult (if it is not caused by something cardinal, betrayal, for example) and believe that the same thing should happen to our beloved. But no! He is silent and frowns.

So a day goes by, then another, then a third. This is starting to worry me more and more. How so? After all, we have long forgotten about the quarrel, why can’t he? Anxiety builds and we start making mistakes. What to do if a man is offended? Let's see what not to do in this case.

Male character traits when offended

When a man withdraws into himself for a long time, most women, starting to rush about, come to the conclusion that love has passed, he is now thinking about another or a divorce. And so they are trying with all their might to open it. How do they act? They begin to pester their half with questions like: “Do you still love me? Do you still like me? Why are you like this? Do you want to leave me?" Well, in the same vein.

The result of this unbridled desire to talk heart to heart - new scandal. And all why? And all because if a man has gone into himself, he must be left alone. Of course, this is not easy to do, but it is necessary. Because men are so arranged - either experiencing something or deciding something, they tend to be left alone with themselves, moving away from all the problems of the outside world. And in this case it is not worth interfering with them - this is a property male psychology, one of the levers of its mechanism. And if we try to change this work, we will meet subconscious resistance. And it will be expressed in irritation and anger, which, of course, will lead to a new quarrel with a man. These are the masculine traits of character - to unconsciously repulse everyone who tries to get into their soul.

However, such a trick - to provoke a scandal - many men use consciously. They deliberately offend the woman so that she will leave her angry lovable alone for a while. Time passes, and the faithful himself approaches the offended wife, strenuously fawning over her and apologizing for his rudeness.

How to be here? How to understand a husband if at first he offended as much as you can imagine, and now he looks with loving eyes and caresses with all his might? Everything is quite simple and is a clear expression of male character traits. A dear husband or just a lover has been alone with himself, gained new psychological strength and is now able to love again.

What to do in those cases when, after a quarrel between husband and wife, she has already recovered from insults, and he is still silent?

What to do if a man is offended?

Does the husband move away, do not let him in after a quarrel, is silent or rude? We don’t panic, close and grumble after a scandal is one of the male character traits. He climbed into a hole and tries to gather himself into one whole there. If a man is offended for a long time - God bless him, let him go! Let's go to a friend's house, have a great shopping, go to the salon, watch our favorite series, finally! But we will not touch it during this period in any case. And in no case will we begin to fill our heads with all sorts of assumptions that they have stopped loving us or are going to leave us. He just needs inner loneliness, which will help put everything in its place after the stress of a quarrel.

At the same time, one should always be on the alert, waiting for him to finally crawl out of his hole. You need to meet him with a joyful smile, and not with an offended physiognomy. And wonderful appearance and not dressed in a well-worn dressing gown. Because sex with a rested and newly filled with love husband is simply excellent!

Of course, it is difficult for a woman who has an injured self-esteem and low self-esteem to do so. She is not able to soberly assess the situation, begins to panic and makes one mistake after another, trying to get through to her husband. For those ladies who love themselves strongly enough, while respecting the freedom of their loved ones, it is easier. They just start doing what they like, letting the situation defuse. And, as a result, the temporary detachment of the husband is perceived much more painlessly.

So what do we do if a man is offended? Let's get rid of his resentment. If we start clucking, begging for attention and love, the situation will only get worse. He will hide, leave home, seek loneliness or solace. And this can end very badly.

Conclusion: a woman should not devote herself entirely to a man, having own goals and hobbies. Otherwise features male character the periods of his stay in his own shell will be very difficult to experience. At the same time, a woman should be very sensitive in order to understand when the moment of his release from this shell comes. Before, you can’t disturb your loved one - it can come out sideways.

However, it is impossible to go to the other extreme, completely ignoring your loved one, if he suddenly became withdrawn. Often, at this particular time, a man especially needs warmth, comfort and affection, but he does not know how to say it. After all, it is difficult for our representatives of the stronger sex to open up and be frank even with very close people. They can be very worried about some kind of trouble, but they rarely tell anyone about it. And this is fraught with depression and stress. A man in such a situation is in dire need of help. loved one which is, of course, the wife. If she does not notice this, it is likely that he will go to some other woman for consolation.

In a word, women need to be sensitive to representatives of such a vulnerable stronger sex. Life is harder for men in this world. We can talk it out, cry to a girlfriend or mother when we feel bad. And it immediately becomes easier. They are not supposed to. Therefore, if a loved one is very worried about something, you need to try to understand this and help him. After all, our loved ones are the only ones. They need to be protected.