Probably each of us has seen a monk (or nun) at least once, encountered them in churches or in everyday life. Statistics show that a survey of several people on the topic “Why and how female and male representatives go to the monastery” collected the overwhelming majority of typical answers.

The absolute majority believes that young nuns or monks are unfortunate, who have not found another shelter for their lonely soul other than the monastery. And middle-aged women and men did not have a successful family life or professional career. true? Let's find out.

So, the general opinion about this situation is that people who are not in this life, or who are simply weak in spirit, become nuns (and monks). The monks themselves do not agree with such a meager philistine opinion. They explain and tell things completely differently. Let's find out the real truth!

I want to go to a monastery, but my conscience won’t allow me...

People of completely different ages and social status come to the monastery. These could be poor old people,

mature women or simply young ones, and the reason for this is the most ordinary human desire to repent, devote one’s life to the Lord, as well as an uncontrollable desire for self-improvement. Notice the difference - it is not losers who go to the monastery, but determined and energetic people! After all, to live in monastic conditions, you need to be a courageous and determined person.

How do they go to the monastery?

To become a monk, a person needs to make certain vows before the Lord God. This is quite a serious step, and there is simply no turning back! Therefore, there is an option for a kind of “insurance”. So that a person does not make the main mistake of his life, succumbing to certain feelings, he is tested for a long time. This happens by assigning him one or another monastic degree.

People who are tired of the bustle of the world come to the monastery and want to find salvation from everyday worries. Are you one of these people, but don’t know how to go to a monastery? Think about your choice and lifestyle, because this is a serious decision.

How to enter a monastery - think carefully about your decision

In order to enter a monastery, you must have the following qualities:

• sincere faith in God;
• patience and humility;
• obedience;
• daily work on yourself;
• complete rejection of worldly vanity;
• absence of bad habits;
• desire to pray;
• love for neighbors.

Don't make this important decision spontaneously. Life in a monastery is hard. You will have to fast there, constantly pray and do physical labor. You must have spiritual and physical strength, because in the monastery there live people who deeply believe in God. They work every day for the benefit of the monastery, earning their living. If you can withstand all this, you are ready to enter a monastery. The unique monastic atmosphere will allow you to forget about worldly worries and devote yourself to God for the rest of your life.

How to go to a monastery - where to start

If you have made such a responsible decision, you must first often visit the city temple. Confess, take communion, keep fasts and fulfill the commandments of God. Talk to your confessor, tell him about your decision. He will understand perfectly and help you choose a monastery, as well as prepare for leaving. Get your affairs in order and settle all legal issues so that you are not distracted by worldly problems later. Transfer the care of your apartment to relatives or friends; they will pay all utilities and manage all your other affairs. Be sure to receive the blessing of a spiritual mentor to escape from the bustle of the world.

How to go to a monastery - communication with the abbot

You have prepared to leave the bustle of the world and have chosen a monastery. Come there and talk to the abbess or superior. The abbot will tell you everything about life in the monastery. Show him the following documents:

• passport;
• autobiography;
• certificate of marriage, divorce or death of a spouse;
• a petition addressed to the abbot with a request to be accepted into the monastery.

A married woman can become a nun, but she must not have minor children. Children can also stay with guardians who can take care of them. Children are not accepted into the monastery. Please note that monastic tonsure is allowed only from the age of 30 for both women and men. No deposits are required to enter the monastery. You can bring voluntary donations.

How to go to a monastery - what awaits me there

You won't become a monk or nun right away. If you live in a monastery for up to five years, take monastic vows. The probationary period is usually 3 years, but it can be shortened. All this time you will live in the monastery, take a closer look at the way of life of the monks and the monastery. To become a nun (monk) you will have to go through the following stages of life in a monastery:

• worker You will do physical work and understand whether you can live in a monastery for the rest of your days. You will strictly follow all the monastery rules and tasks - cleaning the premises, working in the garden and kitchen, and the like. Significant time is devoted to prayers. You will be a worker for about three years;
• novice. If difficulties do not break you, write a petition to the abbot and get permission. Monastic tonsure is not accepted unless you pass the novice stage. The abbot will grant your request if you have proven yourself positively. You will be given a cassock, and you will constantly confirm your readiness to become a monk with good deeds. The period of obedience is individual for each person. The worker and novice can still leave the monastery if they realize that they have made the wrong choice.

If you were able to go through the above stages, your faith in God has strengthened and the abbot sees your efforts - he will submit a petition to the Bishop and you will take monastic vows.

If you decide to go to the monastery rashly, stay in the monastery as a laborer for some time. You can go home at any time, because everyone comes to the monastery at the behest of their heart. But if you feel good there, you are not afraid of difficulties, you want to pray - you have found consolation and a quiet corner for your soul, and this is your calling from God.

How to go to a monastery. Not everyone who wants to is accepted into the monastery. There are a number of restrictions here that anyone who is planning to renounce the vanity of the world and go to serve God should be aware of.

I will list the main requirements.
1) Citizens who are in an official or civil marriage are not accepted into the monastery. A divorce must be filed. You will have to present a divorce certificate or other documents confirming the absence of a marital relationship. For example, if a spouse has passed away, a death certificate will be required.

2) The monastery does not accept citizens who have dependent minor children or have child support obligations.

3) To enter the monastery, you will need to undergo an interview with the abbot. A non-Orthodox worldview is one of the main obstacles to entering service in a monastery.

4) No bad habits: smoking, drinking, drug addiction.
5) Absence of mental disorders and diseases.
6) Absence of immoral and obscene tattoos on the body.
7) Absence of disability or chronic diseases that require constant medical supervision and treatment.
8) Some monasteries do not accept people who have ever been in prison.
9) Russian citizenship is required, in addition to this there must be permanent registration.
10) Age - over 18 years old.

To go to the monastery you need:

1) You need to think carefully about your decision and more than once. By accepting it, a person must understand that he is going to radically change his life. Life in a monastery is hard - you need to work a lot physically, observe all the fasts, and tame the flesh.

2) If you have made a firm decision to renounce worldly vanity, then contact the abbot of the monastery and talk about your desire to come to the monastery. He will tell you what you need to take with you.

3) Upon arrival at the monastery, you will need to present documents: passport, birth certificate, divorce certificate. In addition, you will need to write an autobiography. If you are not married, have settled children and meet the above requirements, you will be accepted for a probationary period. As a rule, the length of the probationary period in Russian monasteries is three years. However, it can be reduced, depending on how well-behaved and morally stable you show yourself in the monastery.

4) After the expiration of the probationary period of stay in the monastery, the abbot will make a proposal for tonsure to the ruling Bishop, and you will be able to accept the monastic rank.

1. Whoever, for the sake of God, renounces the world and enters monasticism, takes the path of spiritual life. A Christian’s motivation for it appears as a result of his faith and internal desire for spiritual perfection, which is based on renunciation of evil and the passions of the world, as the first condition for the salvation of the soul.

2. No previous moral way of life in the world prevents a Christian from entering a monastery for the purpose of saving the soul, as stated in Canon 43 of the VI Ecumenical Council.

3. The following cannot be accepted into the monastery: persons who have not reached the age of majority; a wife with a living husband, not legally divorced from him, as well as a parent with young children requiring her guardianship.

4. Nuns who left another monastery without permission are not accepted. Those entering the monastery with the blessing of the ruling Bishop from another monastery give a written commitment to obey the Rules and customs of the monastery in everything and are entrusted to one of the older sisters.

5. Anyone entering the monastery must present a passport and other documents listed in the application form for applicants to the monastery, accepted in the Moscow Diocese. A copy of the Mother Superior’s order on admission to the monastery and all specified documents are submitted to the Diocesan Administration.

6. The newcomer undergoes a test for three years and, if she turns out to be worthy, the Prioress petitions the ruling Bishop to tonsure her into the monastic rank.

7. The probationary period may be shortened depending on the moral stability and good behavior of the newcomer.

8. A novice accepted into the ranks of the sisters, after a certain test, with the blessing of the ruling Bishop, is allowed to wear a cassock, and after she has lived in the monastery for at least one year, with the blessing of the ruling Bishop, she can be tonsured into a cassock - in this case, her name can be changed.

9. Trying to cut off their own will in everything, the sisters of the monastery cannot seek tonsure as a monk, completely entrusting themselves to the will of the Mother Superior. At the suggestion of the Mother Superior, the nuns of the monastery write a petition in her name for tonsure as a monk, asking the ruling Bishop to intercede for this.

10. When entering a monastery and preparing to take monastic vows, a novice cuts off all connections with the world, maintaining only spiritual relationships with loved ones. She undertakes, according to the commandment of the Lord, not to have any property in the world, having disposed of it in advance or transferring it to the disposal of her closest relatives.

11. Nuns of the monastery who have not been tonsured may be dismissed by the Mother Superior, in which case a copy of the Mother Superior’s order is sent to the Diocesan Administration. Those who have tonsured leave with the blessing of the ruling Bishop.

12. Those admitted to the sisterhood cannot lay claim to the premises occupied by them (cells, or part of the cells), for they are not her property, but represent a special dormitory or service premises.

13. Those who come to the monastery are not required to make a monetary contribution. It is not forbidden to accept a voluntary donation for the monastery from an applicant, but only on the condition that the donor sign that she will not seek benefits for her sacrifice or demand it back upon dismissal from the monastery.

This topic is not simple, especially since not everyone understands the deep meaning of entering a monastery. In modern reality, there is also the so-called “Orthodox romance”, which people often, unwittingly, envelop this topic with. Let's try to answer, to the best of our ability, frequently asked questions related to joining a monastery.

How do they live in a monastery, and what is a monastery?

Monasticism is a special spiritual path that a person chooses for himself. Complete renunciation of worldly life and complete dedication to God. For this reason, people in past centuries went into the desert or labored in temples. Then the first monasteries were born. They arose because many people in their souls wanted to be saved and follow the strict path, but physical weakness did not allow everyone to do this. People understood this and began to settle together for physical, moral and spiritual support of each other. And in order to cut off self-will, which interfered with spiritual growth, they chose the wisest monk or elder and tried to carry out his orders, and he, in turn, guided them in a fatherly manner and gave everyone obedience.

And since the physical body could not do without food, drink and shelter (especially in northern countries like ours), the monasteries had to arrange their external life, build cells, acquire vegetable gardens, a kitchen and other subsidiary plots, thanks to which they subsisted by the labor of their hands their own and donations from well-wishers.

But this was an insignificant and external life of the monastery. The internal one consisted of prayer, divine services, obedience and daily spiritual warfare. Somewhere this spiritual inner life was so strong that it gave birth to hosts of saints and “went out” far beyond the monastery, attracting thousands of pilgrims.

We will not touch on the spiritual side of monastic life in this article, for this is a vast topic and described by many pillars of monasticism, such as St. Ignatius Brianchaninov, St. Macarius of Egypt, St. Theophan the Recluse and many others. As they say, take books and read.

External life resembles a shared dormitory. The buildings contain cells - modest rooms where, as a rule, several monastics live. Everyone eats at strictly designated hours in the common refectory, and gets up here early - at 5 in the morning, or even earlier. In addition to church services, there is also a monastic daily rule.

Ideally, a monk should not have anything of his own, except for the clothes that he is wearing (and then received in the monastery). That is why everything is common here: the kitchen, the refectory, vegetable gardens, and other services where monks and novices work.

In the monastery, silence is welcomed and idleness is condemned. Therefore, if a monk is not busy with obedience, church service, or some other general activity, he must still pray internally, reciting the prayer on the rosary.

And even the external restrictions of monastic life - moreover, taken on voluntarily - already show that this path is not for everyone, what can we say about the spiritual depths to which, ideally, everyone who has renounced the world should strive?

How to go to a monastery, and what is needed for this?

Let's start with the fact that it is not as simple as it seems. It is quite difficult to get into any monastery. And if someone promises to “quickly tonsure you into a monk/nun,” run away. In fact, in any monastery they will look closely at you, ask about your spiritual path, find out if you are married and if you have abandoned your children (alas, there are also such inappropriate cases). And then they will test you for several more years in obedience before you cross the very first stage - rossophore novitiate (not even minor monastic tonsure).

Therefore, if after visiting the monastery you began to have thoughts about leaving the world, try to start preparing for this event on your own for now on an external, which is also very important, level.

Start by giving up meat - they don’t eat meat in the monastery. Observe all four church fasts, as well as Wednesday and Friday. Train yourself to get up early and have a long prayer routine. Go to church more often – and not just for Sunday services. Go to church prayer both on weekdays and during Lent.

If you are working, continue what you are doing, but look at it from a spiritual point of view. Imagine that everything you do is for God, and therefore perceive the orders of your superiors as training in obedience. Try to avoid secular entertainment.

Give up TV and read more spiritual literature.

By the way, among the patristic heritage there is a wonderful book by St. Theophan the Recluse - “What is spiritual life and how to tune in to it,” where the correspondence reveals the world of a girl who decided to go to a monastery. Saint Theophan the Recluse helps her to walk this path gradually, becoming stronger in her choice, and not following emotional impulses, which can be very hot in youth, but also quickly cool down. The book will also be relevant not only to those who want to choose the monastic path, but in general to everyone who is interested in spiritual work amid the bustle of the world.

By the way, the question is often asked: how can a woman go to a monastery, how can a man go to a monastery?

There are absolutely no internal differences. Everything described in the article above is suitable for both men and women.

For women, it’s only worth adding that they will have to give up cosmetics and men’s clothing, and learn to wear skirts below the knee and modest, non-provocative clothes.

Having lived like this in the world, as it were, a “monastic” life and strengthened in your desire to go to a monastery, you will be able to move on to another stage: blessing and choosing a monastery.

Blessing of the confessor

You are not accepted into the monastery without a blessing. Moreover, it is desirable if this is the blessing of your confessor, with whom you have known for many years, or even an elder (generally recognized in the Russian Orthodox Church). As a last resort, you may be sent to the confessor of the monastery that you have chosen for yourself. And as soon as he blesses, so it will be.

By the way, you need to approach the blessing itself with humility, and not rush into the embrasures if it suddenly diverges from your desire. Because we often want one thing, but God’s providence for us is different.

Here some neophytes may be surprised, what could be higher and better than a monastery? If a person chooses this path, then God will definitely bless him through the elder. But we do not know the ways of the Lord. Sometimes it happens quite the opposite: a girl comes to the monastery for a blessing, and the man of God sends her off in marriage.

You can read about one such episode in the Chronicle of the Seraphim-Diveyevo Monastery. Once two women came to Father Seraphim: one, very young, asked for a blessing to get married, and the other, 30 years old, asked for a monastery. But Father Seraphim blessed differently: he sent the young woman to a monastery, and, to her horror, blessed the 30-year-old to marry. Why did this cause such confusion in the older woman? Yes, because in the 19th century, girls who did not get married before the age of 30 were considered old maids, and their chances of starting a family were almost zero. But here everything worked out well for both women, and each was subsequently satisfied with her life.

And in the lives of many saints we learn how people who decided to choose the monastic path received completely different blessings.

In general, it should be noted that people do not go to a monastery just because their personal life has failed - as, alas, can be seen in our time. In the old days, people were not accepted into the monastery if a person was against marriage and family! For marriage is established and blessed by God! And the fact that the ideals of marriage and family values ​​are now being violated in the world is a terrible sin. And monks, especially, should not participate in this sin, disparaging marriage and family.

It’s just that they personally chose the monastic path for themselves, and chose it based on their spiritual needs, where renunciation of marriage is seen not as an end in itself - for this, in general, it is not necessary to leave the world - but as a means and opportunity to devote oneself entirely to God and spiritual life. life.

Choosing a monastery

There can be two options here: either your confessor or elder will immediately bless you to a specific monastery, and all you have to do is humbly accept the will of God, or you will receive a blessing for the monastic path, but you will have to choose the monastery yourself.

And here it is worthwhile, even during your independent preparation, to travel on pilgrimages to different monasteries. By the way, there is no sin in this. Even the saints had their hearts attached to some monasteries, but opposed to others. Here you really just have to marvel that each person can have “his own monastery.” And this is true even for families. Sometimes people admit that they have already traveled half of Russia and visited great shrines abroad, but they have a favorite monastery, to which they come every year to pray with the whole family, and nothing can be done about it.

It remains to remember the phrase used among Orthodox Christians: “We do not choose the saints, but they choose us.”

So when choosing a monastery, you should listen to your heart. Well, technically, just take a list of male or female monasteries in Russia and look for the one that is closer to your area. Read the history of the creation of the monastery, find out what shrines are in the monastery, which saints founded them, and go there on a pilgrimage to empirically understand whether this is your place or not.

How to go to a monastery as a laborer

After you have chosen a monastery, try to go there for a long time, for starters for two weeks (in subsequent times you can increase the time you stay in the monastery up to a month). This means that the excursion option offered by pilgrimage services and travel agencies will not suit you. You will have to get to the monastery on your own.

Having arrived at the place, you must tell the monastery that you have come for so many days - weeks (specify exactly) and want to work for the benefit of the monastery. You can immediately tell what serious illnesses you have (if any) and ask them to take this into account when obeying. But you should talk about this humbly and be prepared for refusal. Although, as a rule, they go to a meeting in the monastery. But sometimes the Lord especially tests those who want to go to a monastery, as if testing the determination of the person being tested!

By the way, everyone can come to labor, not just those who have decided to become a monk. This is generally a godly thing. And many saints said that God blesses people and those families in which they work for the good of the monastery. , speaking about Diveevo, noted that even those who wipe the dust here receive great grace.

How to get to live in a nunnery, how to go to a monastery?

Having gone through the path of labor, and preferably more than once, and having finally decided to leave the world, you should take the last step: sign up for an audience with the abbot (in a monastery) or the abbess (in a nunnery). And in a personal conversation, express your desire to go to a monastery. Further developments will develop based on the results of this conversation, and everyone will have their own. Further advice is inappropriate here.

Is it possible to go to a monastery with a child?

This question worries many who find themselves faced with a spiritual choice after they have been married and have children. And here a large number of questions arise.

• Firstly, if we think logically, and also in a Divine way, then it is necessary to first raise a child until he comes of age, and only then, with a clear conscience, go to a monastery, blessing your matured child to live with God.
• Secondly, leaving for a monastery as a family can only be done by mutual consent, when the husband also goes to the monastery, otherwise leaving one of the spouses will be equated to sin.

For widowers and widowers, the monastic route is considered the best option, and in the old days many did so. But here again the question arises about children. What age are the children, what is their gender and how many children are there? Many, being widowers or widowers with many children, preferred to enter into a second marriage in order to raise their children on their feet.

Do they take a child to a monastery? They take it, but very reluctantly, not with a baby, and taking into account the specific circumstances of each person. But you need to remember the main thing: only a child of the same sex as you can be accepted into the monastery. That is, a woman and her daughter will be taken to the nunnery, and a man and son to the men’s monastery.

Otherwise, you will only be offered life at the monastery as a laborer: that is, they will give you temporary shelter, food and obedience, in which you will work.

But both of these options are not the best choice. After all, you want to go to a monastery, not your child. And it is naive to hope that if a child lives in a monastery all his life, then he will remain there as an adult - it is not worth it. In most cases, everything is different: children, having reached adulthood, run away from the monastery immediately, and young people from completely unchurched families come to the holy monastery to asceticize.

Why is this happening? Probably because the principle of freedom to choose the path that God gives each of us at birth is violated! Yes, it is our rights and responsibilities as parents to instruct and teach the Law of God to our children. But this should be done unobtrusively, with great love and delicacy. Trusting not in one’s parental authority and knowledge, but in the will of God. And pray for the children. But don't force them.

That is why many wise priests bless many mothers (because most often this is the question that concerns women) to live in the world, as in a monastery, raising a child, and after his eighteenth birthday, to leave to seek the monastic path.

If the issue is very acute, and the woman feels that if she does not go to the monastery, she will simply perish spiritually, or there is a special blessing from the elder, then the issue of entering the monastery will still have to be resolved individually.

And in this case, you need to think about the child. Then the choice of a monastery should be made not only based on one’s own desire, but also guided by a number of questions.

1. The monastery must be large enough and well-equipped, located in a large village or near a city where there are hospitals and other necessary organizations. Some monasteries have their own hospitals or at least medical centers, where doctors and nurses who once went to the monastery perform obedience.
2. There should be a school in the monastery. By the way, this is not a problem now. Many monasteries set up general education schools or even gymnasiums, where a child can receive a complete secondary education, equal to an ordinary secular school.
3. You must decide all the issues of organizing your child yourself immediately. No one is obliged to sit with your child while you decide to read another akathist or go to another service. As a rule, mothers work in obedience while the child is at school. In the future, they themselves must monitor their child and take him with them to obediences or church services.

As you can see, this creates a number of difficulties and additional responsibilities, given the closed structure of the monastic community and the nature of spiritual life. Therefore, those who are thinking about a monastery while having a child in their arms should seriously think about this issue.

At what age can you enter a monastery?

Much less often, but still the opposite situation occurs, when teenagers who have learned the faith quite sincerely want to go to a monastery, but their parents do not allow them. It gets to the point where children literally run away to a monastery. How is the situation resolved in this case?

Minors are not accepted into the monastery without the consent of their parents, and tonsure is not performed until the age of 18. But they can allow them to live with the rights of workers.

In any case, the Abbess of the monastery to which the teenager applied contacts the parents, challenging them to talk. At the same time, calming the upset “child” and softening the “inflexibility” of the parents. Sometimes it is possible to reach a compromise.

Several years ago there was a case in one monastery: a 15-year-old girl literally on her knees begged the Mother Superior to take her to her monastery. She called her parents for a joint conversation. They managed to reach a compromise: they agreed that the girl would come to the monastery for the whole summer and return home in the fall, since she needed to finish school. The Mother Superior motivated this decision to her parents by the fact that by allowing her daughter to live in the monastery for at least some time, they would maintain good relations with her and would not become mortal enemies. And the girl, in turn, will take a closer look at monastery life from the inside.

So, if you are not yet 18 years old, but you want to go to a monastery, the reasonable decision of the Mother Superior can help you. Start by coming to the monastery on vacation. And with your parents, try to reach a compromise peacefully, in which sincere prayer for them can help.

Tatyana Strakhova